Burning Down the House

It all started when I asked the Insane One to make dinner. I was tired from the day and it was 4:30. If we started a chicken now we could eat at a normal time. The IO can make a chicken no problem so he said sure. Around 5:30 he decided to make some french fries. I'm thinking he's going to cut up potatoes in french fry fashion and bake them in the oven.

Right?

Wrong!

I heard a bunch of clatter going on and the kids are freaking out. I ask if everything is ok (I have now moved to the office which is off the kitchen. The only part I can see of the kitchen is the pantry). I'm told everything is fine but when I could see the glow of fire against the pantry wall, I knew there was a problem.

I walk in to see the IO taking a lid and covering the back burner, lift it up and try to blow on it, and then cover it back up. He left the lid over the burner and the fire went out. Meanwhile the fire alarm in the living room is going off and my house is filling with smoke. #1 Son is starting to cough and I quickly shoo them into our bedroom and shut the door. I now turn around and start opening up windows to try to air the house out. The smoke in the living room is actually getting quite bad and I'm really starting to cough. I go look for the IO and what is he doing?

HE'S MAKING MORE FRENCH FRIES!!!!

I look at him like he's insane (see there IS a reason I call him the Insane One!), tell him to shut the burners off, put down the spoon and HELP ME OPEN WINDOWS!!! He now looks as me like I'm over reacting, but he does put down the spoon and help. By now I'm coughing and having a hard time breathing (hello, remember me?? The sick one?!?!), the fire alarm is STILL going off and he finally realizes that the living room is pretty bad. He tells me to go into the bedroom with the kids and he will fix it.

I eventually go outside because the headache that formed from the fire and smoke got worse when I was in the bedroom with 2 LOUD kids chattering abt the fire along with kid TV on in the background. I grab a blanket, sit on a plastic adirondack chair with my back to the house and proceed to breathe deeply. Apparently the IO wanted to use oil to make french fries. He put in abt 4 inches of oil in a pan and put it on med high. When the oil didnt really react (like BOIL!) he decided to drop in a handful of potatoes to see what would happen. WHOOSH! Kitchen inferno!!

When the IO comes looking for me to tell me dinner is ready and sees me wrapped up like a mummy outside, he tells the kids that I was crazy. Yeah, *I'm* the one.

Here is the carnage.

Nice huh? Click on the pictures to get the full impact. Notice the Everyday Food magazines I have next to the stove? When I walked in and saw him blowing on the flame, the flames were licking at those magazines. I just kept thinking my kitchen would eventually be engulfed in flames. Later I thought of Everybody Loves Raymond and his attempt at stopping a fire. Thankfully we didn't have the same scenerio.

Here is the back of my stove and the wall that had been freshly painted not that long ago.

Lovely.

And here are the culprits.

You'd think they'd be more burnt with all the mess they made.

Needless to say, *I* made dinner tonight.

Comments

Jane said…
Oh, man, that is scary!! Glad you are all ok. Reminds me of the time I did the same trick. Toss the frozen fries into the hot oil and WHOOSH!! The flames hit the ceiling. Jim saw the flash and came running!! I seem to remember the ceiling being pretty scorched. We didn't have fries for a while after that.
Susie said…
Ohhhhhh dear. Ooooooohhh dear. So glad they didn't take off and grab the magazines with them...
Deborah said…
They can't help it, it's the testosterone...

Sounds like your sick days are over. What a mess, who got to clean it up?
Anonymous said…
Ummmm, so who is cleaning all that up?

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